You raise the shovel over your head and charge Candace, screaming "DIE!!!" at the top of your lungs.

How many times have you dreamed of doing this?

But when you swing, she dodges with superhuman agility, then knocks the shovel from your hands and clotheslines you. You land hard on your back, the wind knocked out of you. Just like that, Candace is on you, her zombie eyes piercing your soul.

"I knew about you and the secretary, asshole," she whispers.

You're stunned. "You did?" Jesus, you were pretty sure you had your tracks covered.

Candace takes hold of your jaw and rips it from your head. You scream, but your words are inarticulate--you know, because you no longer have a jaw. Then Candace snaps your jaw in two, and brings the two halves plunging down into the sides of your head at the same time, perforating your skull. And... that'll about do it.


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