What the hell, follow your heart. You tear Tyler's body to shreds, pulling off arms and legs and spilling organs everywhere, until there's a thick, syrupy sheet of blood spreading across the tiles beside the pool. Ahh... the whole experience leaves you deeply satisfied.

Years later, after the zombie apocalypse has passed and you've been cured, you go on to forge a successful career in talk radio, and publish a bestselling memoir titled, Richard Keene, an American Allegory: How I Ripped Apart the Body of a Teenage Boy but Later Redeemed Myself Through Patriotism and Faith.

You, sir, are a hero and an inspiration.


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